In this episode of Women Winning Divorce, Heather discusses legally preparing your children for college. Heather provides an overview of the importance of preparing children for college, including legal forms and permissions that you should discuss before college drop-off. Listen to learn the importance of HIPAA, FERPA and power of attorney in the college context.
"Women Winning Divorce" is a radio show and podcast hosted by Heather Quick, CEO and Owner of Florida Women's Law Group. Each week we focus on different aspects of family law to help guide women through the difficult and emotional legal challenges they are facing. Heather brings over 20 years of law experience that advocates and empowers women to achieve happier and healthier lives. Join Heather each week as she discusses family law issues including divorce, custody, alimony, paternity, narcissism, mediation and more.
This program was created to provide tips and insight to women with family law issues. It is not intended to be legal advice because every situation is different.
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Women Winning Divorce
Episode 25
Legally Preparing Your Children for College
Julie Morgan:
Welcome to Women Winning Divorce, with your host, Heather Quick. Heather brings over 20 years of law experience that advocates and empowers women to achieve happier and healthier lives. Each week, we provide knowledge and guidance on different aspects of family law, to help lead women through the difficult and emotional legal challenges that they are facing. Listen in as she discusses issues including divorce, custody, alimony, paternity, narcissism, mediation, and other family law issues, to provide insight on the journey of women winning divorce.
Julie Morgan:
Welcome to the show. I'm Julie Morgan, and I'm joined by your host, Heather Quick.
Julie Morgan:
Heather, how you doing?
Heather Quick:
I'm great, Julie, how are you?
Julie Morgan:
I'm doing very well. I looked at this topic and I said, "Is this even a thing? Are you serious?" And, I was so confused until we chatted just a little bit before the show. So let's talk about this. Legally preparing children for college. All right. What does that even mean? Help me out here.
Heather Quick:
So when you send your children off to college, you are thinking of so many things. First, there's the college, where are they going to live, meal plans, their dorm life, roommates, all of those things. But I think one thing that we don't think of until something happens is that, most of them have turned 18. Very rarely are kids going off to college at 17 now, but once they're 18, they are defined as an adult by the law. And so, you don't have the same ability to do things for them and find stuff out about them that you did prior to that. For their whole life, by the way, yes, their entire life that was run by you and organized by you. And so, now you need to think differently. Part of this is helping educate parents and women, because we think of these things a little bit more, or might actually take action on them. But before there's an emergency and a situation, that would really not be the way you want to figure this out.
Julie Morgan:
Okay, we'll get to the emergency. But if you're paying their bills, if you're claiming them on your taxes, that doesn't give you any rights?
Heather Quick:
No, not in relation to them being at college. You don't get to pull up their grades, their bank account, or their health records at all. And you kind of think, "Wait a minute, I am paying that tuition bill. I'm paying that housing bill. I'm not able to figure out if they even go to class or what grades they have?" No, and it's an additional shock, because right now, and for most of their lives, all of their education, everything was available online and you really have a lot of access to see what's going on, and you don't anymore, unless they give that to you.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. But I'm putting money in the bank account, so they can go to get a pizza while they're studying, at least they better be studying at midnight. I mean, so all of these things, I look at this and I'm thinking, "Why don't I have rights?"
Heather Quick:
It's because they're now an adult. It goes really to what legally, what an individual, what a school, an institution, a doctor can divulge to you. Now, in regard to the finances and some things related to the school, they'll have certain things for you to fill out, because you show, they're on my taxes and I have paid the bills. That's indicative of maybe they're in trouble or something's going on if their grades are really bad. But I think where it would really be necessary, and something that comes up that is scary, is related to their health. Their physical health, as well as their mental health.
Julie Morgan:
Hmm. Okay. So, you're talking about in case of an emergency?
Heather Quick:
Yes, and they're far from home. What if they got in a car accident and you aren't there? They're not going to tell you. They will not release any information over the telephone. If you have a power of attorney, and that's what we're talking about, then yes. But you will have really very little information until you get up there and are able to understand. There can still, especially if they're unconscious, there's only so much they can divulge to you, and you're their parent, that's your child. It could be a very, very scary situation for you as a parent, and for them. Even if they wake up and say, "I don't know what decisions to make." They're still kids. They're looking for your input, and until they can consent and tell the doctors, "I need them here," there's going to be very little communication.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. So, let's say I'm here in Jacksonville, Florida. My child is going to school in Athens, Georgia. Something happens to them. I'm going to have to drive that entire way, not knowing what's really going on?
Heather Quick:
Correct, correct. Yes. Unless you have the proper documentation where they can, where they have a legal authority to tell you what's going on.
Julie Morgan:
That just doesn't sit well with me.
Heather Quick:
I understand. I hear you.
Julie Morgan:
Hmm. So before they leave for school, there are legal documents, right? That they can sign.
Heather Quick:
Yes, and the primary document is a power of attorney. You have that power of attorney, which just with any legal adult that gives you, the power of attorney, they can do anything you can do, and they're acting on your behalf. We include with that a HIPAA release, because there are so many regulations when it comes to healthcare. So, that they're already saying, "I authorize them to have any and all of my information and make decisions for me." Everything that you've done their entire life, but at 18, that changes.
Julie Morgan:
Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So is this something that your office can handle?
Heather Quick:
Oh, absolutely, we do. We do that very often. I've given talks at a lot of the local high school, just to many of, mostly the mothers, say like at a PTO group, and offered that because it's shocking when you realize it. Even when they're away at school, sometimes you are managing, not sometimes, most of the time, managing things for them here, like doctor's appointments, prescriptions, things like that, because a lot of their healthcare providers tend to stay at home, and now you need that authority to be able to do that. Without it, you, for the day-to-day stuff, you can’t do it. It won't be as frustrating, but I just wouldn't want anybody to experience that, not knowing what's going on with their child and there's been an emergency. So yes, we do that in our office.
Then you tell your child, they have to come in and sign. We can't do it before they turn 18. It has to be once they're 18, and they do need to still really be a resident of Florida, as long as you are, even though they're going off to college. They can be living somewhere else, but they still have their Florida ID, and other states will recognize our documents, and usually they don't need to be updated for a few years.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. But this is something, before they go to college, after they've turned 18, and they need to really, they have to agree to this, because the law says they're an adult.
Heather Quick:
Correct. I had that conversation with my daughter. And she's like, "What if I don't agree?" And I say, "You want to have that conversation?" And she said, "No, I will go to the office and sign it." And I say that in jest, because once they turn 18, they are very empowered by the fact that they are a legal adult, so.
Julie Morgan:
You know what? I can think back, and I felt like I was grown, but I felt like that since I was 13, I would have to probably say. But you know what, that's a different conversation. Anyway.
Heather Quick:
It is, and you know what? I think I really started to think about this and it became real for me several years ago. I was thinking about the mental health challenges that all adolescents have, and just because they're in college, doesn't mean they're not still going through that. Even more so, with the change in environment, new situation, new opportunities to try new things. There are resources at the school, that their child goes and talks to a mental health provider, which would be great, you'd want them to. But what if they got prescribed some serious medication, and they really had issues that you were unaware of, that you want to know. That's kind of what I was thinking. I was like, "Well, I want to know. I want to be there for them."
IF they have the stomach flu, yes, I want to help them with that. Or they need an antibiotic, but mostly I was thinking much more serious, and when children go away, they feel so isolated. There's no legal ability for any of those providers to communicate with you as parents. But if you have a power of attorney, you can reach out if you're sensing something. Knowing this now, I want mothers, fathers to know that this is a very good step to take. Hopefully, there's no need, but if there were, you might not be in a position to get them to consent to that, because they might be in a dark space. They may be having a really hard time.
Julie Morgan:
Yeah. So this sounds like this is really an important conversation that you need to have with your new adult.
Heather Quick:
Absolutely. And explain however you wish, but I think that it is never going to occur to your child, that kind of stuff, because that's their whole life. You're going to make sure that they have their immunizations, and that you do all these things. I think if you explain it in that way and as to why, then that makes sense to them. Kids are, they like to tease and jest. They're like, "Oh wow, you have to ask me for something now, to have authority?" But overall, I think it's a great way to have that conversation. Start to explain, you are 18, and we're going to get in that as we go. What does this mean? Because, this is different than being 16.
Julie Morgan:
Yeah.
Heather Quick:
In the law, regarding the law.
Julie Morgan:
Right. And I mean, we talked about, just in case they get into an accident and an emergency in that situation. But unfortunately, this also applies, what if they get arrested or something like that?
Heather Quick:
Exactly, and now it's real. Now, you are going to be treated as an adult, and DUI is a real thing. We know drinking in college is a real thing. I know that the high school girls don't drink out of anything someone's given them, because they're aware that people will spike your drink and that can happen. That's more prevalent in college that, then you could become a victim of sexual abuse. For our sons, that those are very clear lines and boundaries that need to start, way before they go to college. But it's very, very ... It needs just to be very clear. Very, very clear and on what is yes, what is no, and it's got to be yes. And then when it turns no, it's just, no.
Now you're 18 and rape is serious. It will ruin your life, as much as a DUI. There are so many things that can happen and don't, but it just takes one time, and one mistake. The reality is you now will be treated as an adult. I do think the conversations cover the same material, but there are different conversations with your sons than with your daughters. As women, we have different things that you really need to be thinking about. And as men and young men, you really need to have those conversations with them, so that they're clear and they really can have a good understanding of what can happen, because college should be the best time. You're getting an education, but you're getting to be independent, and nobody wants any of those run-ins with the law.
Julie Morgan:
Oh, boy. So many more things that we could talk about here. You're listening to Women Winning Divorce with Heather Quick, owner and attorney of Florida Women's Law Group. When we return, we're going to talk about a lot of different topics, DEPA, FERPA. One I haven't heard before, and power of attorney. We're going to go more in depth into those topics. Stay with us.
Julie Morgan:
Welcome back to Women Winning Divorce with Heather Quick, owner and attorney of Florida Women's Law Group. Heather, what is FERPA?
Heather Quick:
I know, it sounds like Sherpa are some kind of lining in our shoes, or our coats, but it's not. It is the federal law, the federal government loves initials, I think. They come up with the longest names, probably based on what they sound like, but it stands for Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act. Essentially, it's protecting your child's rights to confidentiality of their student records and academic information. So, you can pay the tuition, but you can't view their grades.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. So, that's where this comes from. It's a law that says that they're an adult.
Heather Quick:
That is correct. The federal government is like, "Nope. Sole control goes to the student." So maybe, it's like your son and the check, and then you need them to sign the waiver so that you can look at the grades, that should be produced as a result of the tuition check.
Julie Morgan:
My question is, why did they come up with this? Why?
Heather Quick:
Oh, isn't that the question? Don't we wonder what they do up there sometimes? When you read the statutes and go on, and on and on, how did this come up? I am sure there was an issue of a child at school, talking to some legislator from one state, and then it just worked its way up. That Schoolhouse Rock that, a bill to a law, to a whatever. So there we go.
Julie Morgan:
Yeah. Yeah. It only takes one thing. And then that one thing, kind of like tumbleweed, it just grows.
Heather Quick:
Indeed.
Julie Morgan:
So this is, so the child would have to, your new adult, would have to sign a waiver of this particular law?
Heather Quick:
That is correct. A lot of times that is during the orientation, but you've really got to seek this out. This is the parents part, because the school's not going to promote this, because they don't want all the parents. They've got to deal with all these students. They don't want to have to deal with the parents as well. So, you need to seek this out. This didn't come in any handout of papers that were given to my daughter when she went to college.
Julie Morgan:
That's what I was going to ask you. Does that come in the paperwork? You have a lot of stuff to fill out. Does that come in the paperwork that they get?
Heather Quick:
No, because the school is looking out for that. They're not going to just say, "Here's a waiver." Yeah, you really just have to educate yourselves as parents. Then you can go on, for any parents listening to this who maybe never consider this, thinking, "Are you kidding me?" They can go on their child's university site. You can find out, what are their steps? Here's their forms to fill out, to give to your student, to give you access, or, "Send us all your tax returns and copies of the tuition bills. And then we'll let you have limited access." Who wants to do that?
Julie Morgan:
Did anybody ask for that?
Heather Quick:
Yes. I think one of the Florida Universities, that was theirs. You show us the tax return that they're dependent, and prove that you pay the tuition, and they'll only give you limited access with that to certain things. So, it seems as though you ought to just get this paperwork in line so that you have access.
Julie Morgan:
I'm just thinking about this. My parents would've said, "Okay, I can't see your grades. No problem. Give me back that car," or something. That's what I'm thinking, but anyway.
Heather Quick:
Well, and I think most parents, yes, would do that for sure. But then, the kids would be like, "Okay, here you go." This is for when there's usually some kind of an extreme, I think, situation. If you're not in the know, and this isn't going to create where the school's going to notify you but giving yourself some access. Because, I think we as parents, know if something's not right with our child, even if they're not at home. You just have this sense, and then you're going to want to reach out. That's when you're going to hit a roadblock on some of these things, because then if you're doing this on your own, and then you see they haven't been to class in two weeks, something's probably going on. I wonder what that is and then, that leads to other things.
So that is how I think about this, as these are good things to have, because you're going to be tipped off some way, even just in your intuition that something's not right. Something may have happened and they're not sharing that with me. I might need to do a little investigating.
Julie Morgan:
And that intuition never goes away. Never goes away, as far as parents are concerned, in dealing with their children.
Heather Quick:
Agreed. I do not think it does. Sometimes you wish it would, but it does not.
Julie Morgan:
It doesn't. I think about my parents, so yeah. Well, what is HIPAA?
Heather Quick:
So HIPAA is something, of course, we have all heard about, when you have controls and access to medical records. It provides you the privacy, security for your medical information. It really prohibits doctors and medical professionals from disclosing any information regarding your physical or mental care. So, let's go back to when, just our access to healthcare. When you've been to the doctor what most of us have signed, and I just am going by my own personal experience, is an acknowledgement that they've told you, "We go by HIPAA." And so now you acknowledge, “I've read what you are doing." And sometimes, especially with some primary care doctors that you're going to see, they're like, " You authorize us to talk to this person on your behalf," but that's going to be in a standard situation.
I don't know if they give the students that option when they go to the doctor, but it may be on there. But again, we're talking about if they're in a place, they might be very nervous about that. They might not feel comfortable with that. So, that's where most of us have probably come into contact or seen HIPAA and been like, "Oh yeah, I signed it, three pages of these are your rights under HIPAA." Everybody signs that and acknowledges it. That's really where that the doctors, medical professionals, I mean, there are some serious fines and violations, if they were to be found to violate those types of things. So they take that very seriously, as they should.
Julie Morgan:
Yeah. And so, that's where the medical power of attorney comes into play.
Heather Quick:
Correct, and that can be separate in and of itself. The first time my husband and I went out of town. Grandparents are here. We signed very specific medical power of attorney. "Yes. You can take our children to the doctor and make sure they have care." So it's very specified, you are saying, "when, if there is a medical situation, I give this person medical power of attorney to make decisions for me, to consent for me for certain treatment, and choose providers, speak to the doctors on their behalf," things like that.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. All right. And, so it doesn't give control, I guess, over everything? Or it's just over specific things?
Heather Quick:
Correct. A medical power attorney is very specific, as to healthcare, medical decisions. You don't have to have the broad scope, everything, power of attorney, you can limit them. That is by design, so that you just don't sign one document if you don't want to, that gives someone authority to do anything on your behalf. Maybe it's just a medical power of attorney, which in many of these examples and things I was talking about, would serve its purpose.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. So, that's medical power of attorney. What about financial power of attorney?
Heather Quick:
Many times, you can execute simply a financial power of attorney, and that is going to give you permission to speak to financial institutions, banks, on behalf of somebody. Pay bills, deal with financial responsibilities. Now, when your child's in college, you're on the hook, generally speaking, for all that, anyway. You've already signed that. But there may a need, maybe not their first year, but after that to assist them, or sign a lease on their behalf. So, it could be important. You may or may not want to sign it, or co-sign with them, but you might want to help them. You might want that financial power of attorney, that's going to allow you access and information, and to be able to assist them.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. If you're looking at both of these, right, let's say the child says, "Okay, I'll give you one, but I'm not going to give you both." Which one would you say, is probably the most important?
Heather Quick:
I would say as a parent, the medical power of attorney, because to me that could have just more serious implications for their health and safety, where you want information and input. Nowadays there are, well, there's always been, but you really would want both, if say, they're going to do a study abroad or go overseas, just in general. Because, guarantee something's going to happen. They're going to call you at home and you don't have the ability or legal authority to accomplish what they may need. So, that would be absolutely important to have both, in that particular case.
But if we're just saying, which one? Definitely have the medical, because to me, that's where as parents, we just really want information. We need to help them, they need an advocate if it's something serious. And if they're in a situation where maybe they are unable to advocate for themselves or something has happened, I would want to know. And I'd want to be able to help them, and to communicate with those who are providing them care.
Julie Morgan:
What if your child is going to school out of state, as far as the medical power of attorney is concerned, does that matter?
Heather Quick:
No, because they're a resident here. They still have their Florida driver's license. They signed it when they were here, and that would be fine. Now I know, I've had the question that is similar to that. They're out of state, but they've been out of state for four years. But they're like, "Well, I really want the power of attorney," or they want me to have it. You live here as the parent, but they are a resident in North Carolina. I would say, I would like them to seek out someone in North Carolina, because that's where, they're the ones who are signing this, not you. You're just being named.
They need to sign it where they are a resident. Because then the states are going to acknowledge and accept legal documents from other states. Say they traveled somewhere, but they're going to rely on where they were a resident. And that would be the best, most proper way to do that.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. Okay. Yeah, because I remember you said earlier that each state recognizes, like you just said. But I was just thinking, what if, I don't know, is there just like this weird circumstance where it would just be best to have that document for that particular state?
Heather Quick:
It's really going to be where they live. So if they're still, technically they're a Florida resident, they reside here, but they go to college elsewhere, appropriate Florida. But they've lived somewhere for a long time, they're like, "No, we live in Georgia." "We live in North Carolina. Yeah. I'm cool with signing this for you. And I'd like you to have this, just in case anything happened." Then I say, you need to find someone in that particular state, an attorney. This isn't a do-it-yourself document, just as an FYI.
Julie Morgan:
And with, because I didn't realize that this was something that your office handled. Would they look for a family law attorney there, or?
Heather Quick:
That I don't know, but certainly, especially if it's somebody, if the parents are here, certainly let us know. A lot of family law attorneys do that. But, always generally, and I say always, but like an estate planning attorney. And it would seem like, "Oh, do I really contact them?" Yeah. You don't need a whole estate planning. You just need some of these documents that a lot of family law attorneys do have, because we're handling this, we're helping you with your children as they're adults, and with the family. So it's not, again that one's not a definite, but either one of those, someone in the estate planning realm or family law realm, either one will know who can help you get these limited documents. You're just wanting some very straightforward things for a limited purpose. And so, that's how I think I would go about finding that person and advising.
Julie Morgan:
Got it, got it. You're listening to Women Winning Divorce, with Heather Quick, owner and attorney of Florida Women's Law Group. We're going to take a quick break here, but when we return, we're going to talk about legal preparation. Stay with us.
Julie Morgan:
Welcome back to Women Winning Divorce, with Heather Quick, owner and attorney of Florida Women's Law Group. Legal preparation, Heather. I mean, all of our kids are perfect angels, right? We really, I mean, we've talked about this. It's important, but do we really have to do it?
Heather Quick:
No, they're never going to get in trouble. Yes, I think it's best. Not easy, but best to have some real life conversations with your child before they leave home. Even if you don't know really what to say or how to address it, maybe this will help on some of those things that, you don't even know what would happen. Because you're like, "I don't even know what to advise them. I didn't get in trouble." And, maybe you didn't, you didn't have any of these things come up, that make you think about it.
Julie Morgan:
And so, this is again where having an attorney who understands this, having that person who understands this, this is why it's so important to ask these types of questions.
Heather Quick:
Yes, yes.
Julie Morgan:
Yeah. So, I mean, even though they're perfect angels, sometimes things slip, right? And they may get a fake ID or something like that. Right?
Heather Quick:
Correct. So, let's start with that, because that's kind of pretty much, I think, the first thing, as all your newfound college friends are going to take it to the local fake ID person. That's against the law here in Florida, and it is in most states. The question becomes, to what extent, right? Because, well, what's really going to happen? You need to understand that you have a fake ID, I mean that in Florida, it's a third-degree felony. You could be charged; you're facing five years in prison or fine of $5,000.
Julie Morgan:
What?
Heather Quick:
Yeah. Yeah. Now, that's with possession of a fake ID. Now, if you just kind of misguide an officer or something like that, that might be more on the misdemeanor level. But still, yeah, this is serious. Now what this is, okay. So then, and then it's different because okay, you get this fake ID made, that's going to be more of a crime than using your roommate's older sister ID, which is still a misdemeanor, but less. I'm not trying to give tips on, "Hey, do this, not that." I don't know, but I'm just saying, because I know none of our kids are listening to this. I can promise you that. But for the moms out there listening, and yes, it really is a big deal.
Most of our children have deputies at school and they're looking out for the kids, and they're really trying to help them. They may be tough on them, but especially if your kids are good kids, and even if they have frequent interactions, my experience is those deputies really are just trying to keep them safe or help them recognize, they don't want a lot of involvement with law enforcement. So, do the things you're supposed to do. Don't do the bad stuff. Then we won't be in your business. So these are serious. And, by serious means, now you could, as a misdemeanor, get a citation. That's more than a traffic ticket. That is a criminal charge. These are criminal charges and they will remain on your record. And now, you got to go to court. Now you have to tell your parents. You need to have these discussions with your children, that this is what can happen. So, be clear that, that seems so innocent to them, and fun and exciting.
I didn't, will not incriminate myself, but I do, it wasn't that long ago in the dark ages when I went to college. I didn't always pick up on all that stuff back then, but it's a big deal. And, that's why, again, because guaranteed, the first thing your child is going to tell you, "I didn't know. I didn't know everybody's doing it." They don't know, they really don't. They don't want to think about it enough, to figure out really what would be. They're thinking, "The only thing that's going to happen, is the bouncer's not going to let me into the bar. I'm not going to get to buy the drink I want." They're not, and you just don't know.
So that's one of the big things that is, it happens everywhere. If you can at least have that conversation with your child, and in my experience, you may not want to believe this is going to happen. You may not want to have this conversation, but I think that your children will be better off. You had the conversation, so that then if something does happen, they're going to know, and you can help intervene or not. Whatever your choice. But you can help intervene early, rather than maybe something's happened. Because, they're young adults now, and now they are out from under the roof, a lot can happen and go bad really quickly. Because, as smart as they think they are, they've got very limited experience out in the real world.
Julie Morgan:
Heather, when you're preparing a teenager to go to college, there are so many conversations you need to have.
Heather Quick:
There's so many. I mean, and some of them, maybe you've had about the drinking. I think that, unfortunately, drugs and alcohol, they're everywhere and our children are exposed. In my experience, which is limited with young adult children and teenagers, because I'm still in it. It's a sense of responsibility that I did not experience, but we also didn't have Uber when I was that age. It's just not, they don't do that as much. I know that people still drink and drive. I do. I know that happens because you're intoxicated, you're not thinking it. I have girls, but there's a lot of conversations, and there's a lot of Uber charges in college that we see, because so they, as a group are like, "This is how we're traveling back and forth."
I think that that should be the number one. I went out of town with my daughter, and we had the Uber come, because we didn't have a car taking us places. She says, and I don't just get in the car. I do look at the license plate. She doesn't think I do. And it's like, "You look at the license plate, you ask them, what's your name?" Don't say, "Hey I'm so-and-so," and then they'll be like, "Oh yeah, no." And depending on where you are, and I just think that as parents, they're going to Uber. So talk to them about Uber. Preferably, don't Uber alone and always travel with friends, and maybe upgrade for a nicer Uber in certain situations. Particularly, I say with girls and that may be sexist, but I think we all know that they can more likely be a victim of the other stuff we're talking about.
Talk to them about being smart. You know what, and if you're not going to put money in there for the Uber, tell them to get a job. Let's be smart, and don't get in a car with somebody else who has been driving, just because that stuff is going to be around, and it just takes one busted taillight, one rolling stop and boop, there they are. And officers love to stop and pull over young people.
Julie Morgan:
I was thinking about this, you said, pay extra for the possibly Uber Black. Right? But I was thinking about, and don't worry at that point, "Oh, my parents are going to get so upset. I paid such and such a dollar amount for the upgraded Uber." Guess what? I'd rather you pay that amount than something else.
Heather Quick:
Yeah. Than the $5,000 bond, the $10,000 attorney, and the mortification and you can't even put the cost on what could happen, and I'm just talking minor. Nobody gets hurt and that really, I think if you can open that up and be like, "Do that, it's well worth it," because the DUI, those types of things, somebody's always drinking. Nobody should be driving, and they may have drugs on them. If it's your car, you're just setting yourself up for so many potential issues that are avoidable. I do believe it starts with parents talking to their kids in a real way and saying, "These things are against the law. And if you're caught, I'm a lawyer, you're not in this town. I can't just pick up." I don't have the cell phone numbers of criminal attorneys in other states that I can just be like, "Hey, I need help right now."
I'm an attorney and so many parents aren't, and so, hey, they may be like, "Hey, if you get hurt, I've got other doctors here. I'm a doctor in somebody else's specialty, but you're in a different city." It's just, and going back to the very beginning, you're an adult. If you're going to make adult decisions, there are serious adult consequences. It's important to understand how serious those adult consequences can be.
Julie Morgan:
And so, that's one thing as far as getting in trouble with DUI or having a fake ID, or public intoxication, that type of thing. But another issue that you have to be concerned about, when we're talking about teenagers and going to college, is sexual violence. Stalking, harassment, horrible things.
Heather Quick:
It is. I paid so much attention when we were at my daughter's orientation to all the safety things, and the areas in how they educated the freshmen about walking on campus, and the times of day and things like that, because that's just opportunities there. Things happen at parties. Things happen all the time, just like anything else we've talked about. Across all barriers of religion, socioeconomic and wherever you are. Whatever locality, and you're at a college and there are, these things happen. They're a conversation, I think is at least important to start. It's different for boys than for girls. Because, when you, as girls, I've always advised them, travel together, stay together. Look out for your girlfriend. Make sure you're with girlfriends that look out for you. Nobody lets anybody go anywhere on their own in any situation.
And with guys, okay, travel together and in a pack, but don't do what all them, don't get in a situation where something's going down and you're participating, or you are guilty by association. You need to get out if something's going down, in regards to any of these sexual violence, or things that you will be guilty by association and you need to just leave. Is it better to report? Yeah. But I'm just talking about, how do we protect our kids at the very beginning is just, know when it's not right. Leave. For anybody, I think that I'm hoping the environment's changing some, so that all young people, when they see something that they know is not right, that they are speaking up and they are doing something about it and finding somebody with authority to do that.
And that's on stalking, on a harassment, and it's whether you're a girl or a guy, and you know something's going on. Helping our kids understand like, “Let's talk about who you can talk to at that school. Who's the best person to talk to?" Because most of these schools, they've got people in the dorm, they've got them in a variety of levels to be there for the students, and encouraging them to do that and look out for each other. Because, I think most of the time, we hear about, of course, the headlines and the bad things that happen, but we all know they do. It's just, stop staring at your phone when you're walking down the street. Be aware of your surroundings, know what is going on, because it's those who look like they're not paying attention, are going to be a victim of theft, of abuse, but of anything, that then you don't want to do.
We don't want you being the perpetrators of the crime, but we also don't want you victims of a crime either. You're no longer in Jacksonville Beach, Florida where you kind of know everybody, and you can't go to the store without running into a neighbor for something. It's different when you leave your bubble, and all our kids have a bubble, in whatever area of town they do. You just associate in the same areas and are used to that, in that safety and protection. You're in a new spot now and it's important to recognize those types of things.
Julie Morgan:
Heather, we're out of time, but any parting words?
Heather Quick:
Well, one, if your child is really getting ready to go to school, if they are 18 or about to be 18, reach out to us. Let us help you prepare these very simple documents. We really make that extremely accessible, easy for women who call us, so that we can help them, and help them, maybe one other reason to sleep a little better at night, when your kids leave home, and we can help you. A lot of the things we've talked about today are not things that we do at Florida Women's Law Group, as far as helping kids that get into trouble. But we certainly know, I know so many criminal attorneys in this town, certainly in other areas of the country. If you've had an issue and you're wanting to reach out for a referral, we'll do the best that we can to help you, because these are our kids and they grow up so fast. So, I really want to help anybody that we can.
Julie Morgan:
Heather, thanks for talking to me today. I'll see you next week.
Heather Quick:
All right. I look forward to it, Julie. Have a great week.
Julie Morgan:
You too.
Julie Morgan:
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