In this episode of Women Winning Divorce, Heather discusses how to prepare for a divorce trial in order to make the trial process less stressful and improve your chances of success.
"Women Winning Divorce" is a radio show and podcast hosted by Heather Quick, CEO and Owner of Florida Women's Law Group. Each week we focus on different aspects of family law to help guide women through the difficult and emotional legal challenges they are facing. Heather brings over 20 years of law experience that advocates and empowers women to achieve happier and healthier lives. Join Heather each week as she discusses family law issues including divorce, custody, alimony, paternity, narcissism, mediation and more.
This program was created to provide tips and insight to women with family law issues. It is not intended to be legal advice because every situation is different.
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Women Winning Divorce
Episode 21
Preparing for a Divorce Trial
Julie Morgan:
Welcome to Women Winning Divorce with your host, Heather Quick. Heather brings over 20 years of law experience that advocates and empowers women to achieve happier and healthier lives. Each week, we provide knowledge and guidance on different aspects of family law, to help lead women through the difficult and emotional legal challenges that they are facing. Listen in as she discusses issues, including divorce, custody, alimony, paternity, narcissism, mediation, and other family law issues to provide insight on the journey of women winning divorce.
Julie Morgan:
Welcome to the show. I'm Julie Morgan, and I'm joined by your host, Heather Quick. Heather, I like those flowers you're wearing today. I like that, it looks good.
Heather Quick:
Thank you, Julie. It's spring in summer. So, I like to wear some color.
Julie Morgan:
Oh yes. I like that. You guys should see her. I'm just telling you, it's awesome. Yeah.
Heather Quick:
Thank you.
Julie Morgan:
Heather, so last week we talked about what happens if your divorce goes to trial, right?
Heather Quick:
Yes.
Julie Morgan:
So today we're going to talk about preparing for trial. As with anything, preparation is key if we want a good outcome, but how important is it in this context?
Heather Quick:
It's so very important because you have to be prepared, your attorney needs to be prepared. And there's so much that goes into that that if you're clear on your goals and what outcome you're looking for, preparation is key. It's going to alleviate some of the stress that you may feel and anxiety, which is normal when you're about to go to court and trial and all that. That is why preparation is very important and should not be underestimated or think, "Oh, we don't need to do that or this." Not true. You do.
Julie Morgan:
It sounds like, you really need to follow the direction of your attorney because it's probably not your lane as a client.
Heather Quick:
It's not. If you think it is, you're doing yourself a disservice and I will go as far as to say, even if you are an attorney and we have lots of very smart business owners, women, attorneys, doctors, but it is your case. Therefore, your objectivity is skewed and it's very difficult to see it through a different lens because it's your case, your life. There needs to be a lot of preparation. Like we discussed last week, it's not like folks see on TV. When you're not familiar, it's so important to have an attorney. What I think is so important, everything we need legally in evidence and all that, and we're going to talk about that, but that you have an understanding of how it's going to go.
You understand, what is that layout going to be? Where are we going to be sitting? Who gets to go first? How do things work? Just those logistics in and of itself is so very important. And then knowing your questions, your evidence, your financial information, you need to know what you're talking about and be prepared and know what questions are going to be coming.
Julie Morgan:
This makes me think of, you said, okay, well, if you are an attorney, you understand what's going on, but this is so personal. I wonder if someone that's an attorney has tried to cover their own case and how that worked out.
Heather Quick:
Sometimes they do. I don't know, but I know that really, when anybody is involved in something as personal as this, your money, your children, things like that, it's very hard to be objective and unemotional. Even when gearing up for trial, you may have more of an understanding of how things are going to go and you understand the language and procedure, but still, you need to not play the lawyer. You need to be the witness in this case. So that's why that's important in really working with your attorney, because of course your input's essential to everything and you need to remain engaged and involved as we prepare for trial and at the trial.
Julie Morgan:
And that's difficult to do when you are the subject. Yeah. So what witnesses are best?
Heather Quick:
When we look at the issues, we need to put together a witness list and as we discussed, that has to happen before trial. We don't surprise people and bring in all these witnesses, there is disclosure on who's going to be there and what are they going to testify to. It has to be relevant to the issue. So, let's take just the assets and value, okay, well we may need an appraiser as a witness for the value of commercial property or personal property. Maybe there's a lot of jewelry. We do appraisals of personal property because too often, maybe they're not really properly valued or guns. Guns are really valuable. I don't know really anything about them, and they hold their value, same with certain types of jewelry and things that hold their value.
So those might be some of the financial experts. Sometimes we do have accountants come in and testify and explain to the court the value of maybe different assets like tax implications so that those are understood because very rarely do the husband or wife fully understand, maybe for example, tax implications, and they're going to be testifying more to their advantage. You want someone in the courtroom that can provide evidence. I may understand something, I'm not a witness. I'm your attorney, your attorneys can't testify. If the court is going to consider something, it has to be brought in through a witness. So that's why there can be multiple witnesses. That's just the example, a few who would be present on a financial side and we also have people who could talk about investments and what return you're going to get because the court may presume that, which that gets a little, I'm not trying to get too complicated there, but there's a lot. Depending on what the issues are and what outcome we're trying to achieve, that's how we determine what witnesses we may need.
Julie Morgan:
You know what, I got a little bit ahead of myself when I asked you about witnesses. That's really not even the first step. The first step is actually what you mentioned when you were speaking, the first step is to gather all your financial documents. Does it always start with money?
Heather Quick:
Well, yes, and that is a requirement. When we talk about the rules and procedure, there's a lot of rules on, submission of a financial affidavit. That's in the statute. We don't just make that up for fun and make you do that. There is what's called the mandatory disclosure, things you have to disclose. And yes, we rely on the financial affidavit. So does the court, it is a roadmap for everything that the two of you own, even if maybe some things are titled individually or not. As we've talked in many episodes, there may be more than one because you come to our office, our first financial affidavit, you may not have as much information about all the finances or there may be things that you're unaware of at that time. Through the discovery process, which again, does take time, but is important because we do not want to leave assets out. If you're unaware of them, we need to make sure we have that complete picture. When we prepare the financial affidavit closer to trial, it's going to be as accurate as possible based on what we've learned through discovery.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. So that's why you have more than one. One initially, and then as you move closer to trial, after you've found certain things out, you'll update that one?
Heather Quick:
Correct.
Julie Morgan:
So it really does. I'll start with money.
Heather Quick:
Starts and ends with money. There's a lot of other stuff in between, but at the end of the day, yes, there are the finances and it's important.
Julie Morgan:
And what he said, she said, I know that's really not the proper term. He said, she said is not permissible.
Heather Quick:
Well, yes. Obviously, wife's going to testify, husband's going to testify. You can say in court, what you think the value is of something. But sometimes we really want an expert on that. I know we talked about last time, and this is my point of view, that if we have no other witnesses to corroborate what you're saying, or disagree with what he's saying, then the court, which is the judge's job to assess credibility and determine what he believes. If there's a conflict in which way he's going to, or she is going to make a decision, then that just sometimes can be a little risky. Sometimes it is risky because it's not that I doubt your credibility as my client, but you could be nervous. You could get flustered and you may not be the best witness throughout on certain things.
If there are other people, and sometimes it is friends and family who can testify, and that's really going to come more down to the issues of children, usually, or lifestyle things that you have done, but it may be important. Let's say, I'll just use an example. I'll make something up that could easily happen, you have your mother testify that throughout the marriage and even during the divorce, she provides a lot of childcare for your children, even when it's supposed to be his time. Therefore, just establishing with the court, and she can say, "When he's working, this is what I do. I pick them up, I transport them and feed, bathe them or whatever." Because that goes to one of the factors when we are looking at time sharing regarding the children.
So that would be an example of when that would be important to have your parent there, who does provide all this childcare. They know they're not just giving opinions, they have been involved, they understand certain things and they have been with the children and both parents sometimes in substance abuse, they have witnessed things, important. That's why those things are very important to share with your attorney, and then your attorney will discuss with you why, why not, we have these particular witnesses.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. Also just in case one says, "Oh yeah, I'm always with the children." The mother-in-law can say, "Mm-mm (negative). That's not true."
Heather Quick:
Exactly. Your mom is probably going to be biased in your favor, I would hope, but they still are a fact witness and they can testify. And we weave through that to the extent necessary.
Julie Morgan:
And also, gather any evidence you've mentioned in the past text messages, emails, that sort of thing, make sure you keep a record of that.
Heather Quick:
Absolutely. I know I've said this before, and I will say it again. Watch what you say in text and gather and keep things that you have received from your spouse. Anything that you think is relevant. The thing is, I prefer for clients, and I think it's best, bring it all in. I'll let you know. I'll explain and our attorneys will explain, we can use this, we can't use this. What does this show? And that's really the attorney's job. Your job as a client is to over-communicate, give me all the information, tell me all these things. We will filter out what is important, necessary, what will be helpful or not. That is in my opinion, the best way to do it, rather than you, as the client, deciding I'm going to share this, I'm not. Because you may or may not. You may think that really is not going to be entered, but something else you might say, "Oh, that wasn't important." The attorney may find that very important and we might want to explore that issue, call a witness, things of that nature.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. And then after you've explained to them why this is important, then they'll definitely know for the next time. Okay. So, I should probably share this with my attorney. If something comes up.
Heather Quick:
You would hope so. Again, as you should, as I've always said, hire an attorney and if you hire an expert to do your divorce, let them do it. But if you don't give them all the information, then you have handicapped them, and you may not get the result that you want based on that. Or where you show up at trial and then you say things in front of the judge that you've never told your attorney, not helpful. It's not a good idea. I don't care how bad it is or how bad you think it is. At least we can prepare you for that and discuss how we're going to address it because you're under oath. You must tell the truth. If there's anything you don't want in front of the judge, I'm pretty sure your husband probably knows about it and has told his attorney. Therefore, I would say, go on the premise that it's going to come out. Tell your attorney first.
Julie Morgan:
You're listening to Women Winning Divorce with Heather quick owner and attorney for Florida Women's Law Group. When we return the conversation continues on preparing for a trial, stay with us. You're listening to Women Winning Divorce with Heather Quick, owner and attorney for Florida Women's Law Group. Heather, tell me this, what is a pre-trial hearing? Explain that to me.
Heather Quick:
As the name suggests pre- meaning before the trial, the judge is going to require the attorneys to be present. Some judges want the parties there as well. At that time, they are going to really want to know, are we one prepared for the trial. There's a lot of requirements by the judge and every judge differs, but they will have said, "Have the two attorneys met and reviewed everything and are you really done what I've said to do, which is meet exchange all exhibits, go through and decide, essentially, what you agree on and what you disagree on.” I know we talked about that previously, that is required by the court. They're going to say, "All right, our trial is probably in a week or two at the pretrial." Generally, they set those about two weeks ahead, maybe 10 days.
At that time they will say, "Have you exchanged all of the discovery, all the financials and are we extending the date?" A lot of times we don't want to receive things up until the day of trial because it leaves you with not much time to be prepared. If you're a client, that's not helpful to at the last minute, provide us with a lot of documents that you think are important. I understand if you think they're not important, but we have obligations under the court and it's just not helpful. I think it's a natural response because it is the procrastination a little bit, but it is the understanding of the seriousness, it's coming up. "Oh my goodness, this is in two days, but what about this? Oh my gosh, there's this, there's this. I had blocked this out." Now you start gathering all these things, sending all these things to your attorney that we may or might not be able to use because you really didn't appreciate or understand that the judge gives us a date. For anyone listening, who is going through this, please listen to that as take it seriously now, look for everything, think of everything. Really do a brain dump and write out a list in your mind of everything that could possibly be necessary. And then do it, get it to your attorney.
Julie Morgan:
Heather, you speak seriously about so many things, but I feel this is very serious. This is something that the client should pay attention to, close attention.
Heather Quick:
Yes. And again, this is your day in court that is going to end with some decisions and a finality on issues that are so important to you, and clearly contested enough between you and your husband, that we must have a judge decide. As attorneys, our goal is to achieve your outcomes to the best that we can and to also know that you have had input in this case. When you wait to the last minute, it puts us in a bind. And that creates a belief for a client that, “oh, if only this had been allowed in, it would be a different result.” The judge gets to decide, and your husband's attorney will object failure to disclose this earlier.
But if you believe it is, and you haven't disclosed it, you just need to understand that it may or may not be allowed in. It may have been something, even if we found earlier whether the court would agree that this could come in, if the other side objected, that's a different story. But if it's because you were late, like it happens in the courtroom. There are certain rules, and some judges are tougher than others and stricter than others. I will tell you, so some judges will be like, oh, it's okay you can see this and prepare for it. Others are sticklers on the rules and say no, you had an opportunity. You didn't present this earlier. You didn't disclose it. You're not going to be allowed to admit it.
Because I know how our clients think, they can maybe even attach an importance to some document that maybe doesn't really have that much importance, but now, because it didn't get to be used, it just creates a belief that, "Hey, this could have gone a different way."
Julie Morgan:
So is the pre-trial hearing, is that the deadline for submitting evidence?
Heather Quick:
Most of the time, unless the attorneys agree to extend it. And again, you want to follow the deadlines that we know exist. We might decide, "Hey, we want to give each other a little more time." But I wouldn't count on that. It depends on the size of the case, the size of the documents, what is it? Do we know, we're due to get documents from a bank this week that have been delayed. Lots of things and reasons, but for our clients, when your attorneys give you a date, this is the last day, you can give me stuff. I would recommend you take that very seriously.
Julie Morgan:
And whenever you're presenting a case, does it matter what you present first?
Heather Quick:
It does in a way that it needs to make sense. What we are doing when we are presenting a case is, we want the judge to understand the whole picture. When I say telling a story, I don't mean something false or anything, but you want it to make sense in flow because judge is a human being. They're taking notes. It needs to make sense in the order. We typically do present in an order that we are going to either address the financials first or the children first, and we want it to flow. Your attorney's going to really determine that. Now, if you filed, which I don't remember if we talked about this last week. I know in the past, we've talked about, does it matter if you file first. But if we filed first for divorce, we would present our case first. So that is an advantage, I think. It will change maybe the way in which we'll present the evidence because our case goes first, before the husbands.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. No, we did not talk about that at all. That's interesting. Okay. I don't know if you want me to save that for a different time, because I know we've talked about in the past. Oh, okay. Other things that affect that. Okay. No, we didn't talk about that, mm-mm (negative).
Heather Quick:
That will affect what order we go in and you're going to be questioned first in that case. We're going to really lay it all out. Usually, how we prepare at this office is, we might have 10 pages of questions and we're going to go through those, and the reason is to establish a cadence, get you familiar and discuss the things that are going to be at issue. You want to do that in a way that makes sense again, with the questions, and then what evidence goes along with the questions.Meaning documents, and it's a lot of preparation, but then it flows much better once you are there in the courtroom.
Julie Morgan:
What about a deposition? Is that necessary?
Heather Quick:
Yes, we typically do depositions before trial, and a lot of times there will be different experts and other witnesses that will have their depositions taken, and that's very common. Then we will take depositions of the husband or wife. That's the only way, as far as our ability to get information from your husband, we have to go through deposition. It can be very effective. It's good practice for our clients to have had their deposition taken, it gives you some insight. I've taken many depositions where husband's very difficult and they don't want to answer a question. They don't want to be forthright and forthcoming. And that will be apparent later. It gives you some insight and they're going to be really argumentative and difficult and rude.
I've had that in some cases and you, as the client can determine, "Hey, are they being really aggressive in the deposition to make you uncomfortable?" There's a lot of reasons in psychology, why attorneys do what they do, but it does get you used to answering questions under oath. Knowing that if you say something different at trial, that will be used against you.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. And help me understand this. The deposition comes before mediation, am I right?
Heather Quick:
In most cases it should, because typically you take a deposition and you learn a lot of stuff that maybe you didn't know, which leads you to say, "Hey, I want these documents. You told me about this. I want to know X, Y, Z." Therefore, you're more prepared before mediation. Again, it does depend on the issues and how much is at issue. What are we really fighting about or disagreeing on. Then the attorney will determine how helpful a deposition will be. But I know very often if you are like, "Well, I didn't know this or this." Let's just say, if you were in a hearing and something came out that you were unaware of, the judge is going to look at you, "Why didn't you take a deposition? You're completely entitled to take a deposition."
And to say, you're not taking it to save costs is not a valid reason. That's where clients when we're doing this, we are doing things to better prepare ourselves and the other side for a resolution. If we think that's necessary to take a deposition and often it is, that would be why, it's not a waste of time, because it's hard to appreciate how helpful that can be to have a deposition.
Julie Morgan:
And before the trial, you practice with the client, right?
Heather Quick:
We do. I think it varies. Some clients have already had a hearing or a deposition, so they've seen more and that does help. That's also, what's very helpful is because now you have been in hearings, you have seen the judge. So at least, you know who's going to be sitting there presiding over the case. You've been in interactions with the other attorney. You understand how it's going to go. So yes, by the time it gets to trial, we can prepare with the client and go through those scenarios. Typically, we know the issues that maybe the other side is going to be more aggressive on, or how to help the client answer those questions truthfully and stick to the question and not elaborating and going on, unless that's a helpful thing to do.
Julie Morgan:
Isn't that difficult though, to stick to the question, or have you found that clients feel that's a difficult thing to do?
Heather Quick:
It depends on their personality. I think if you are a person who just talks all the time and maybe forgets what you're talking about, and that's just personality, you might do that. It's also out of nervousness sometimes that you will talk and so the key is, listen to the question and if you actually can hear yourself talking, that probably means you've been talking too long. So just stop and try to remember what in the world you're talking about, I've said that a million times, but I think that's true. I have found myself even sometimes when you and I are talking, all of a sudden, I'm like, "Where did I go on that thing? I think I went sideways and kept talking about issues that weren't the first question." So, it can happen.
Julie Morgan:
You're listening to Women Winning Divorce with Heather Quick, owner and attorney for Florida Women's Law Group. When we return, we're going to talk about what the client needs to do during trial, stay with us. You're listening to Women Winning Divorce with Heather Quick, owner and attorney of Florida Women's Law Group. Heather, the day of court, I can get there late. Right? You know that sarcasm.
Heather Quick:
I know. A couple of things on the day of court and our trial, typically it's going to start around 9:00. The judge has usually some other matters that they always want to get done before we start at 9:00. Regardless of the time it starts, you want to know where you're going. Again, so helpful if you have had a hearing before, meaning you've driven it, you know how long it's going to take, you know where to park so that you've lessened your nerves, or just take an Uber. Particularly, if you are nervous and really have anxiety, then do that, have a friend bring you, family member. It can be much more calming. They can wait outside, even if they're not going to be involved. Any of the external things you can remove is going to be helpful, because the last thing you need is to be speeding, get a ticket, an accident, all very unlikely on the odds, but you don't want that to happen.
So yes, arrive early and have thought through who could take you maybe, or an Uber, anything like that. We definitely talk to our clients about that because that's what we want you to do. You want to make a good, important impression on the court, which means you are not going to be late and you are going to be dressed professionally.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. And you're just basically trying to make sure there's nothing else weighing on your mind just clear it all out so you can focus.
Heather Quick:
Exactly. Yes. This requires your 100% focus.
Julie Morgan:
I remember you saying the same thing as far as mediation is concerned as well. If you guys want to listen to that show, you can go to our website, womenwinningdivorce.com to download, subscribe, and listen. But you mentioned the same thing for mediation, and that's just how important this is.
Heather Quick:
Correct, and I understand that when you're really nervous about something, sometimes you do stuff that you wouldn't normally do because of the nerves. Like go the wrong way and get lost to somewhere you know how to get to and those things just do happen. That's why, just take that factor out of it. Don't drive, if you believe that will happen. Most of our clients really do have somebody drive them and it gives them the support and that's important as well.
Julie Morgan:
Also keep your emotions in check. That's important.
Heather Quick:
It is, so often there may be testimony and you do get emotional because one, you're in front of a judge and then your husband's there, we're in just a room, that is okay. I'm not asking you to be cold and not be who you are. However, if you are very angry or get way over on the emotionality side and hysterical, that's not going to help anything. We're going to have to take a break and you're going to have to calm down. And that's okay if it happens, but certainly not angry, this is not the time to show it if there are kids involved. But either way, if there aren't kids involved and you're angry, that's okay. But this is going to be a business transaction and we're going to move through it from the court's perspective. The extreme emotions, it's not going to help you. It hurts your credibility, and it gets you really worked up. And so therefore, you're going to have to then bring yourself down. So that's difficult.
Julie Morgan:
Can you ask the judge, "Can we have a moment?"
Heather Quick:
Indeed. But if you happen to have gone off or show a side of you that is not pretty, and everybody knows what I mean by that, the emotional side, the judge may say, "No, I want to hear this. Keep on going." I may look at you, but I can't sit there and say, "Don't talk when I've just asked you a question." There are certain things that I can do, but if maybe it's on cross exam and they're on a roll and the court may say, "No, we can finish here." Then what that means to them is they want to see this side, they want to hear this testimony and that's probably not going to fare well.
Julie Morgan:
Ooh, oh boy. I just, there are so many places I want to go with that, but I'm going to stay on track. Okay. So facial expressions, you can't let those just fly either. Your words or your facial expressions.
Heather Quick:
That's right, and you just did a good hand and eye roll, you better not do that in the courtroom. Particularly if you're my client because that is just not going to work. Let me explain to our listeners, everybody listening, we are in, in this jurisdiction, and so in Duval County, in the Fourth Circuit. In St. John's County, you are in what you would think of a traditional courtroom, but regardless, when you testify, even in other counties, in a witness box, you're very close to the judge, but it's when you're on the sidelines. If you're in a smaller room and you're rolling your eyes or making gestures, they can see it. And even if you think they're not paying attention, they are. There is this one judge. This is way back in my law school days. And I was doing a judicial internship and we were allowed to go watch other trials. This one judge would lean back and you would swear he was asleep. And I just I'm telling you, but anything happened, he was on it. So, they're not sleeping. They are very in tune with the small little things, because your body language shows more about what you think and feel sometimes than your words. So, it is extremely important.
For so many reasons, but if you have children, which tends to be, when you have more negative emotions towards your spouse. The court is really going to take that into consideration. That is something that we talk about with clients and really try help them work through, again, back to the counseling thing. Because if you go in there with hate towards them, it could be very damaging to you.
Julie Morgan:
Yeah. That goes back to something we've talked about. And as far as the mental health and going to a counselor, you need to work through it because this is yet another reason that you need to work through it really.
Heather Quick:
Exactly.
Julie Morgan:
Alrighty. So, we mentioned this a little bit in the last segment, stick to the facts.
Heather Quick:
Yes, and answer the question because if you're not listening and answering the question and you do that multiple times, you are going to be viewed as evasive and not answering a direct question. That affects your credibility. I also say, don't volunteer any information, they ask you a question, answer it, your attorney's job is to follow up after say, you're cross-examined from someone else. You're going to know, and you're going to do great when your attorneys question you, that's where it flows. You're going to give your answers that you are prepared to do. It's when you're cross-examined that they are trying to trick you. So, you really need to listen and do your best to answer the question without completely avoiding it. Which goes to if you just tell the truth. If you are not truthful, that is more harming to you than potentially the actual truth of what you have to testify about.
Julie Morgan:
Oh boy. Okay. It's very clear. You said, they do try to trick you, the other attorney. That's what they're doing.
Heather Quick:
Well, that's cross-examination and it's an art and if they're good at it and if you're not listening and paying attention, because they're going to ask you things you don't want to be asked. As your attorney, we should bring all that out on our side so you can tell the truth but explain it versus just being caught off guard on cross-examination. Part of what goes on in the courtroom during a trial is, there's a lot. This is a bit about the body language and things like that.
Don't talk to your attorney during somebody else's testimony, because the judge will get onto you one, and two, your attorney has to listen to the question, the answer, determine if that they need to make an objection while also thinking about their follow-up question to that particular question and that may not happen for another 30 minutes. There's a lot that goes on. I tell my clients, I've got three things going on in my brain at all times. I won't answer you and the judge will get onto you, but you can write notes and we can take breaks and communicate. But that is part of the procedure and the rules and the decorum. You really need to take it seriously.
This, isn't where you go, "Well, judge, I want to tell you something." You better not do that because they are not going to appreciate that. That is not the way the procedure works, and you don't yell out something that your husband says. Don't do that. Again, no TV. You watch a lot of TV, a lot of stuff happens on TV and movies that is not the way it should happen. We all do. We've all seen all those things.
Julie Morgan:
And also, wait a minute. What if something comes up and I want to direct something to my spouse, my future ex, I shouldn't do that either?
Heather Quick:
No, you write it down. You should have a pad and a pen and paper and sticky notes for things that are important and write down and not write down furiously. And with all this emotion again, make notes, keep yourself occupied so that you don't make a fool of yourself.
Julie Morgan:
Heather, we don't have that much time left, but I know that's difficult. Especially if there's so much going on and there's so much to discuss, that has to be difficult.
Heather Quick:
It is, and that's why this is a great topic because all of these rules, anytime you're in front of the court, it's so important and your attorney and if they didn't tell you, well, I'm glad you're listening. But most of the time they will tell you all these things and it is important. And also you, again, you are not the attorney. You have hired your attorney, let them go with it. The more experience you have as an attorney, you can sense when you're winning. I can sense that I have said enough, I have asked enough, the judge gets it and I'm going to annoy the court if I continue down this path, we're good. That is judgment based on experience, intuition, just at all of those things.
By the time you get to this trial, you have hired a professional, you've paid them a lot of money. You need to listen and follow them at that point because a lot happens during a day of trial and you need to follow their direction so that you just don't again, make a fool of yourself or let things get carried away so that you can then let the judge hear what they need to hear and make the decisions that they need to make.
Julie Morgan:
Oh, Heather, I would love to see you in action one day. So any parting words.?
Heather Quick:
Well, this really reiterates what I just said, but let your attorney be your representative. And that's why, which I don't know if we've done a show on it, but we probably will on how to pick your attorney but do your due diligence and make sure that your goals are aligned with your attorney, because you want to be in a position of trust and listening to them. I think when clients don't listen, maybe they don't trust them, or they don't really understand all the ramifications, but have them explain it to you. And if you are like I said, if you have a trial next week, I'm not going to suggest that you call us and ask us to represent you at that next week, for all the reasons we've talked about in the last episode. But please listen to this, talk to your attorney about these things and know that it's coming up.
If you are going through a divorce, understand these things. That's why when your attorney sets meetings and things are delivered to you, it's not arbitrary. It's because they want you prepared, and they need to be prepared. If you have any questions about these things, or embarking on this, as always, give us a call and we're here to help you.
Julie Morgan:
Heather, it's always a pleasure.
Heather Quick:
Thank you, Julie.
Julie Morgan:
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