This week Heather talks through hiring a Divorce Attorney and the importance of compromise. She covers things to consider when hiring a divorce attorney and how compromising in your divorce will get you what you want.
"Women Winning Divorce" is a radio show and podcast hosted by Heather Quick, CEO and Owner of Florida Women's Law Group. Each week we focus on different aspects of family law to help guide women through the difficult and emotional legal challenges they are facing. Heather brings over 20 years of law experience that advocates and empowers women to achieve happier and healthier lives. Join Heather each week as she discusses family law issues including divorce, custody, alimony, paternity, narcissism, mediation and more. This program was created to provide tips and insight to women with family law issues. It is not intended to be legal advice because every situation is different. Visit us at https://www.womenwinningdivorce.com/ for more resources. Text us at 904-944-6800 for a copy of Heather's Top 5 Divorce Tips. If you have questions or a topic you would like Heather to cover, email us at marketing@4womenlaw.com
Women Winning Divorce
Episode 29
Hiring a Divorce Attorney
Julie Morgan:
Welcome to Women Winning Divorce with your host, Heather Quick. Heather brings over 20 years of law experience that advocates and empowers women to achieve happier and healthier lives. Each week, we provide knowledge and guidance on different aspects of family law to help lead women through the difficult and emotional legal challenges that they are facing. Listen in as she discusses issues including divorce, custody, alimony, paternity, narcissism, mediation, and other family law issues to provide insight on the journey of women winning divorce. Welcome to the show. I'm Julie Morgan, and I'm joined by your host Heather Quick. Heather, how are you today?
Heather Quick:
I'm fabulous, Julie. How are you?
Julie Morgan:
I'm doing well, no complaints. I found some fun.
Heather Quick:
Good.
Julie Morgan:
I did. It enjoyed fun in the sun and I even got a tan. Now people were probably laugh at this, because I was born with a tan. But... Oh, that's my little joke for today. And you know what?
Heather Quick:
Oh, you made me laugh. I like it.
Julie Morgan:
Thank you so much. I appreciate it. That was my joke for the day. Alrighty. Now we can move on. Alrighty. So, today's topic is hiring a divorce attorney. So Heather, having the right attorney, it's really important. It goes down... It boils down to the success of your divorce. Am I right?
Heather Quick:
Absolutely. You're hiring a professional, you're dealing with a major life event. It affects your future, and it will affect the future of your children, if you have them. We're going to talk about what is the right attorney and who is the right attorney. This is a very important decision when you're taking this first step. I very much encourage women to do your homework. But yet, it's important. It's a huge decision.
Julie Morgan:
Alrighty. So, what are some of the things that we should look for?
Heather Quick:
Well, when you are doing your homework, you need to choose an attorney that practices divorce and family law. Number one, number one. We'll talk about it, but I'll tell you, we have cases where the husband has hired somebody, and it’s not the type of law they do or they just recently started doing this or they do basically everything, which we call door law. Anything that walks in the door, they'll be like, "I'll do it." You're not going to get a great result. This is all I can tell you. Because, they don't know what they're doing. They don't know the judges, they can read the law books and the cases, but they're just not going to be the best attorney that you could hire for your case. I don't care if they're your neighbor or how good of friends they are with you.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. So Heather, you're telling me that if my cousin is a tax attorney, it doesn't make sense to hire him.
Heather Quick:
No, I think it would be malpractice, if he allowed you, he wanted to do your divorce. And, it's ridiculous. It happens all the time and this isn't their primary thing, and they do all this other stuff, but they have 15 areas of practice listed on their website. I would suggest you just go somewhere else. That's a very biased opinion, but there are many law firms and lawyers in Jacksonville and Florida. That is what they do, divorce and family law. That's what you should be looking for.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. So a divorce and family law attorney, they understand the insides and outs... The inside and outside. I have no idea what I'm saying. They understand all the basics. They're familiar with the judges and mediators and all of that. That's what you're paying for. That's what you're getting. Right?
Heather Quick:
Well, you would hope so. I am not going to tell you that they're all fabulous or anything like that. Whether or not they do it and how good they are, I'm not here to blow anybody else's horn, I'll tell you that. But I will say, and this is kind of a little law lesson. But, what happens? How are laws made? Yes, we've got all these statutes and all these laws. But, through cases in case law, what does that mean? Somebody got divorced. One person didn't like the decision, they appealed it. Then the Supreme court of Florida made a decision. That's now the interpretation of the law that we follow. Well, those cases come out weekly. All the time. It may not always be the Supreme court of Florida, but there's middle courts, which are your appellate courts.
There are decisions coming out all the time. As family law practitioners, we are reading those cases. We know when laws change. That's something that most people hear, but here's a new interpretation. Not everybody does that to that extent, but we follow, and we understand, here's some updates, it's changing. That's our professional responsibility to stay up with changes in the law. Can you imagine if we're trying to do it in criminal and family law, because there are a lot more criminal law decisions that come out all the time. To just to be competent, not even excellent, that you wouldn't really have time to do much else, except really be reading all of this and understanding how this new case applies to you.
That is one of the reasons I say, if you have five areas of law, are you really up to date on what the courts did last week on this particular issue? Very unlikely. It's hard. That's a lot of time. Very time consuming. At one point, much earlier in my career, I was doing some criminal and family law and that was the big thing. I was like, I really don't have time to meet with clients and practice law. I have stacks of things that are happening in the law on a weekly basis that I'm trying to keep up with. And that's a lot. So, when you stay focused and specialized in an area, you ought to know that area well. I said, that's what we do because, we're not going to do your bankruptcy. We're not going to do your criminal case and we're not going to do your real estate closing. That's not our area of law. 30 years ago, way more general practices out there that did more things than just one.
Same with doctors, you have all the different specialties and you're just not going to go to the heart surgeon to get your hip replaced. I would hope, and I'll tell you, the heart surgeon's not going to do it. So, that's why I was saying earlier, if that attorney's going to do it, you have to question that. Because, you should know your areas of practice well.
Julie Morgan:
You know what? That makes a lot more sense now. When you talked about the fact that help, you need to understand those other cases that have been ruled on. So, you'll know how to proceed with your clients and where they go next. I get. That makes sense.
Heather Quick:
Good.
Julie Morgan:
Now, we talked about this on an earlier show. If I'm not mistaken, it was last week's show. Look for an attorney who's going to ask you questions. Lots of questions. And if you guys want to listen to that show, you can go to our website, womenwinningdivorce.com, subscribe, download and listen. So, why is that important?
Heather Quick:
Julie, my experience is, the only way we are going to understand your facts in your case, and everything is by asking you questions. I learned many years ago to make no assumptions, but you still have to ask questions. Sometimes, more and more questions to get to the uncomfortable question, but I need to know. We need to know, and you may not want to answer and I get it. But, I'd rather you answer when you're in the combines of your attorney's office and it's confidential and not in front of a judge on the stand and your attorney going, "oh, I wish I'd asked that question. I wish I'd known that information." That may not all be that first initial consultation. It's going to be over time, but you want your attorney asking you, "Well, where do you see yourself after this divorce? What do you want?"
I heard somebody tell me a long time ago. "Well, what if they want all this unrealistic stuff?" Well, I think I'd like to know that now, and help you understand that may or may not work. But if I don't know what you want, where you're going, where you want to go, your perception of how this is going to play out, you're not going to be satisfied. Because, I could be doing a great job. We could be doing an absolute, fabulous job representing you. But, we're not achieving your goals and we don't know what you want, because we really haven't asked those questions. So, I think it's very important.
Julie Morgan:
So basically, telling me as a client, I probably need to get comfortable answering uncomfortable questions.
Heather Quick:
Yes, and sometimes, just like again, remember we did the comparison to the doctor. They ask you some stuff that you probably don't really want to answer. But, because it's confidential and it's important for them to provide you the services that you've gone to them for. Same thing here. I'm not asking you anything to embarrass you.That's the last thing I want to do is, probably talk about some of the stuff we're going to talk about. But again, usually when attorneys are asking you questions in the confidential setting, there's a reason.
Julie Morgan:
So, tell me this. Do you really explain to them, make it very clear, "This is confidential." You may say it once, you may say it twice, you may say it multiple times, especially if you feel like that they're not really getting it that this is confidential. Please tell me.
Heather Quick:
Oh, we absolutely do. This isn't really on the topic, but it's so very important. That's why, when you're like, "Well, I really want my mom to come with me. I really want my dad in there." No, no, no, no, no, no. Because the moment you bring that other person in there, it's no longer a confidential conversation. I understand and it's probably more so with women, just because that's been my experience and I get it. Or your best friend. Your best friend in the whole world, maybe who knows me. Who's the one who said, see Florida Women's Law Group. But understand, we are going to meet with you without anybody else in the room. Generally, and then you have to sign a third-party waiver. If your best friend, your mom wants to have answers or ask me questions, that's going to be a separate conversation, but you have to be the one in charge of your representation. We don't allow other people in, because what if they called them as a witness? And that can happen.
Julie Morgan:
Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute. And I get mom, dad, whoever they... It's a way to support you. Right?
Heather Quick:
Absolutely.
Julie Morgan:
But, since it was a confidential conversation, they could use that against me in the future? If they were in the room?
Heather Quick:
It's possible. It would be rare. It's a low percentage, for sure. There are very few privileges of confidentiality in the law and this is one. So, it's important to protect it. I may want to protect it for you more than you want, but I am not going to be that person Julie, down the road that, "Oh, because we let somebody in, now we're going to ask them questions about something."
Julie Morgan:
Okay. Well, I can see someone getting upset that, "Oh, you're telling me I can't let so and so in with me? I need that person. They're my support."
Heather Quick:
Yes, and I appreciate that. You know what I have found throughout the representation? Sometimes they want what they think would be best for you and you want something different. I am not representing your mom and representing you, even if your mom is paying. Your mom has to understand, I respect you. I know you want the best for her, but she might not hate her husband as much as you do. She doesn't want to be married to him, but she's going to still have to co-parent, and you don't want him involved at all. These are all such normal emotions. I know we're getting way off track Julie, but I understand dynamics, emotions, all of that. I get it. However, you are the client. I know we talked about this, I think even in the consultation episode or previously, but you have to be ready to help yourself.
If you're coming to our firm, you need to be ready to be an adult and let's do this. There can be support, but you can't go to mediation with your parents. They may or may not be in the courtroom. And so, this is the time to start that process.
Julie Morgan:
So, we're talking about hiring an attorney, what to consider when hiring an attorney. So, that is one thing to consider as far as confidentiality. How seriously do they take it? So, it's still on topic. It's still on topic. You're listening to Women Winning Divorce with Heather Quick, owner and attorney of Florida Women's Law Group. When we return, we're going to talk more about what to consider when hiring an attorney. Stay with us. You're listening to Women Winning Divorce with Heather Quick, owner and attorney of Florida Women's Law Group. Heather, another thing I thought about was... So earlier... And I'm trying to remember all the shows. We've done so many together. It's been wonderful. But one of the shows you talked about, you don't really get to walk-ins, but people may email and they definitely call you. So, tell me this. How do you communicate with clients? When hiring an attorney, that seems like that's an important thing to think about.
Heather Quick:
Yes, it's a very important thing to think about and an important thing to ask. I had a client that had been with another firm. They're like, "They will only allow me to email them. And I don't like emailing or whatever." And then somebody was like, "I text back and forth with my attorney." No, we don't do that. But, you need to ask. Because again, as a client, you don't have the experience. We do this every day; all day and our attorneys are very experienced in helping you understand. So you should ask, "Well, are they going to call me or email me or are they going to text me? How are we going to communicate? Do you send mail?" Hard mail. I think that's important to ask, because I think that some information needs to be delivered in person.
Some information can be delivered just verbally. Some information can be delivered in written form. Overall, we use all of that, but there are documents that will be filed throughout your case. There are going to be letters received. We're going to email them to you. There's going to be a lot of emails, but sometimes a call is probably warranted before you receive that particular email on another case. Sometimes, we are going to reiterate a phone call in an email, because I can use myself, but I do this for both of us. Because I remember what I said. I heard what I heard, what I remember I heard. And, I heard you say what I remember you said. But, let's make sure that this is exactly what we agreed to moving forward, I think that's very helpful. Because again, we've talked about in other cases and we're going to talk about further in this.
It's an emotional process, and there are sometimes, I think you can only hear and receive so much information. You might have heard the first half of the call, but the second half, you just blanked. It's really important to ask when you are considering hiring an attorney, how will that communication flow? Because, if it's all an only email, I don't think that's effective. I think, too much can be interpreted in a negative way, when it's just in writing or emotion. We get that from our clients. If you're trying to send us an all-caps email, you're going to get a phone call. I don't know all the rules about text messaging and all that, but I know all caps means mad and angry. But you know what? Maybe that was accidentally. You're like, "Fine. It's easier to read", or I don't know. But too much can get lost if it's only email. I feel like, the personal element of a case, maybe the tone of your voice, then you know, "Hey, it's not bad. It seems bad if I just read it and add my own story to it." So, I think that's important.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. One thing you mentioned, no texting. Makes sense to me, but tell me why not?
Heather Quick:
Now, we may be on the way to court and call you from our cell phone that's linked to the office phone to talk to you before hearing or whatever. But texting, is just not a mode from a personal standpoint, as the staff here is going to communicate with our clients. I don't believe it is a secure method by which to communicate through, and I don't think it's very professional. Smaller firms, one attorney, that's going to be different. This is a large firm. If it's not in a method that allows the paralegal to know what you've talked about, that can hurt your case. Because, we don't just have just an attorney, you have a team. We want to know if your attorney were to get sick, as we all experienced in the pandemic, things happen quick and if someone got really sick really quickly, we don't have privy to that information.
Now, we have to get up to speed, that's not best for your case at the end of the day. It is a professional team, that's for our office. We don't expect that we're going to be texting back and forth. We just don't. Some firms might have a texting program that it goes from the computer, but we don't use that. We prefer, if something that we want others to know, we do memos. We want the team to know what you and I talked about, so they can follow up as necessary.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. That makes sense. So when I'm hiring an attorney, what are some other questions that I need to ask?
Heather Quick:
I really think you should ask if they have experience, let's say in relocation. How many relocations have you done? Are you successful? Have you dealt with cases where there's a multimillion dollar business? Have you done cases that dealt with the military? Because, there's some really specific things there. Things with issues of domestic violence or potentially criminal charges that involve my spouse. All those kinds of things. We've talked about the narcissists and things like that. Ask, I think that's a valid question. I've always been, we are, all our firm, we are happy to answer those questions.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. I didn't... Relocation. Obviously we talked about that and okay, Julie, don't get sidetracked. Don't get sidetracked. I didn't even think about that question. I did not. Alrighty. Another one is, "How many people are going to be working on my case? Will I get the whole firm working on my case only?" That's a good one.
Heather Quick:
Sure, you should ask that. Because, if that's your expectation, then you might be let down. If you have certain expectations, I do think you should voice those. I have had, quite candidly, somebody say, "Well, I don't want to hire you unless I only talk to you and always talk to you." I don't think this is the right firm for you. Go to a one person shop a one lawyer shop. They'll probably talk to you on their cell phone all the time and do everything. Our practice, our firm, we work as a team and you have a paralegal. You have a legal team working on your case, so that you're not billed the attorney rate for everything that's done. They're lower rates for other levels of professionals. They're better equipped to answer those questions. And really, as attorneys we're in court, we're in hearings, depositions.
Many times, we are not in the office. Or we're in a meeting that cannot be disturbed or in a hearing. We can't immediately answer your question. Maybe not even within, could be in a two day mediation or three or four day trial. You want to know that there's a paralegal in that office, and probably a backup attorney, that if I need answers to questions, those are going to happen. I think, that is important to know. Because you may say, I like that one-on-one, just me and attorney. We're best friends. We're going to talk all the time. Great. But I would ask, "Well, what if you're in a trial? Are you going to still talk to me? What if you're in a mediation?" That's good to know, because then if they're in mediation with you, "Sorry, I have to talk to some other clients. So, I'm going to do that." All good things to ask.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. Again, so many questions. Is that professional.? It doesn't seem like it is. Hopefully I'm not being judgey. But, is that professional to say, if I am in a mediation with someone, I'm going to take somebody else's phone call? It doesn't seem like it is.
Heather Quick:
I don't... Yeah, no. I certainly don't think that it is. Really, the way it works for me. Sometimes there's downtime in mediation. But for me, and for most of my attorneys here, we kind of operate the same way. We're in it. Man, when we're with you, it's only you. My family knows call the office. Don't call my cell. We are immersed. It's difficult for most of our attorneys. In my experience, it could be just to switch gears really quickly and then be all in on another case.
That could be difficult. It's impossible if you’re in a hearing in front of a judge and in a trial. My family knows, when we've been in trial, you better just call the office. I can't take a break unless somebody calls the judge's office and says there's an emergency, and there's definitions of an emergency. Needing lunch money or can I go to somebody's house after school to play, doesn't cut it in my house. But, there are certainly other ones. When we are with clients and with most attorneys are with clients, we're with you. We're not taking other calls. We are not getting interrupted. No, this is about your case and whatever's going on, which I do think most clients expect. And I think that they should.
Julie Morgan:
Should you also ask... When you're hiring an attorney, should you also ask about strategy?
Heather Quick:
Yes, ask them how do you develop it? How do you figure out what we're going to do and when we're going to do it? They should be able to tell you, "Hey, this is our plan. This is how we develop your strategy, and you get your strategic plan. Then we address it every 60 days. Sometimes a little bit different, because if we have our outcomes and goals listed as these top three. Then next month you say, something's changed. We're going to have to redo your strategic plan a little bit or maybe not. Yeah, you should ask. Be an educated consumer to the extent you can. This is not a friendship. You are paying for services. It's again, educating yourself. What should I expect? How are you going to do this? I think those are valid questions. How do you bill? When am I going to see my bill? Am I going to get a bill?
You should get a bill every month, maybe twice a month. We bill our clients every two weeks, just so that they see what's going on. There's a lot going on. Sometimes, there may be 30 days where nothing is happening, but there's a lot happening behind the scenes. If you're not getting billed, I would be concerned. And if that sounds silly, you're like, "Well, if I'm not getting billed, Heather, I'm good. I'm not calling asking for a bill." But, you should see what's happening in your case, through your bill.
Julie Morgan:
That's a good point. Because I was wondering, no bill, does that mean that there's nothing happening or there's just something wrong with the accountant?
Heather Quick:
I don't know. Every office operates differently. I find the bills to be very reflective because we're very detailed so that they are aware of what's going on, and then it helps you anticipate. You will see we have a lot happen this month and maybe a lot's going to happen next month. And there's some periods of time where there's not as much activity.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. So, a detailed bill. It seems like that's something that you should want to have, so I know that I'm getting my money's worth.
Heather Quick:
You can go back and know what things have been done. You can read it and be like, "Well, I thought we talked about doing X, Y, Z." It is also a way that improves communication. When you get the bill, please read it. Because it may pose questions. Sometimes people are like, I haven't looked at the bill in six months. Well again, that's the part where you need to take some responsibility for your case and be engaged, because we need that engagement in order to do our best for you.
Julie Morgan:
You've answered so many questions. You're listening to Women Winning Divorce with Heather Quick, owner and attorney of Florida Women's Law Group. When we return, we're going to talk about how to work with your attorney. Stay with us. Welcome back to Women Winning Divorce with Heather Quick. Owner and attorney of Florida Women's Law Group. Heather, how to work with your attorney? It's good to be comfortable with them, because again, they're getting all in your business and you need that.
Heather Quick:
Absolutely. There's a level of trust and rapport that is necessary and important. There's not like we're going out for drinks or anything like that, but you want that rapport and trust. Because, just like before, your attorney could be doing a great job, but they haven't asked you what you want, so then you're not going to be satisfied. If you don't trust this person who is directing your representation, you're not going to be satisfied, even though it could be a great result, because that trust is gone. Or it never existed. You're just like, "Wow, I figured this was who I go to." But, you don't really feel as though you're on the same page. So yeah, I find that very important.
Julie Morgan:
Okay. That's good. So, working with your attorney, you're going to go through so many issues and you're going to discuss the importance of each issue. Like you said, it's not going to be what they want. It should be about what you want.
Heather Quick:
Yes, and now again, you need to express what you want. I feel like that's the important thing because, I'll just use an example. I want him to buy me a new Porsche every year. That sounds good to me too. I agree, Julie. I would like that too. However, it's unlikely through this case, but let's talk it through and let me tell you what I think could happen. What are you willing to give up for that? Because, I know you're chuckling nothing and I'm just talking in a situation of, if we're trying to work out settlement or even trial, I think it's important for, as the client to share truly what they want their expectations. Because then, we have an honest conversation. I say, "All right. That's not happening." Period. The end. Not happening and judge will never give you that. Can we ask for the mediation?
Maybe, but you better be willing to give up some. And then it's like, "So let's move on and don't bring that up again", which I say that teasingly, because then my client, our clients are like, "I know you said I couldn't get." I was like, "I know, but you can't let it go. And you don't ask me every time. And I've told you no. So, let's move on to the next issue. I see a possibility. This and this, or do these things exist? A, B, D. A, B, C, D, E." To me, that's the best way to communicate. Because, if I don't ask, I don't know. What if your expectations are so low, that I have to be like, "come on now. You're entitled to way more and we're going to put you in a better position." I think that, when we talk about working with your attorney, it's that kind of rapport.
If they're not asking you these kinds of questions, you're not going to get what you want. Because, you don't ask, how are you going to even know? That's always, I say that all the time, you can give me a chance to say no. But if you don't ask, how do I know? I'm not a mind reader, nor is the court. It's just this open communication that allows us as attorneys to understand where you're coming from. Because, you may have completely unrealistic expectations. Julie, you and I have talked about things and you're shocked that, that wouldn't happen. But because you don't know. And I don't judge you or saying anything less of anybody, I'm like, yeah, that would be maybe what I expect. I do know and I'm like, I agree with you, but that's completely unrealistic and not going to happen.
So, let's figure out, let me help you understand what other scenarios might happen and how do we live with that? How do you reconcile with that? I think, that when you work with your attorney, you begin to understand a little bit more about the law and the judges. Different judges have different perspectives. They all follow the law, but different facts can sway them in one way more than another. It's important that when you're working with your attorney, that they're able to tell you, this judge rarely does this. This judge always wants 50, 50 on the time sharing. So, I'm not going to sit here and tell you, he's never going to see the kids. Which, he wouldn't, unless that we thought that was a possibility, and in the best interest of the children. So, that's when you work with your attorney.
I know, sometimes things get emotional. Of course, in a divorce and emotions get high when certain decisions and things are done. But, remember you've got a team on your side. Yelling and swearing at us, that's not going to work. We don't do that to you, and we certainly don't appreciate that kind of communication. That would probably be a good way to end our relationship.
Julie Morgan:
That goes back to firing the client. You can really do that?
Heather Quick:
Absolutely. Not anything we ever want to do, so kind of when we had that episode on consultations, that's why it's really important to spend the time. So that, hopefully we're both making the right decision before we enter into this attorney client relationship. But sometimes, and this is something that was said to me many years ago by a business coach. They said, "You are paying me to advise you and help you achieve your goals. And so if you're not going to do what I advise you to do, you have to question why are we working together? Because that's on you."
I think, that's maybe not the most eloquent way to say it, but if you're not going to listen to me and take my advice or the advice of any of our attorneys here, that's fine. But then, we're not going to work together. Because then why are we here? It's either you trust my advice and I've given you some options and you pick one, or maybe you go elsewhere. That boils down to what we talked about earlier. Trust, communication, all these things. And I get it. You're scared. Maybe you don't want to, but at the end of the day, you've have to work with your attorney. If you don't trust their advice, then you need to get another attorney. Or, you need to question yourself as to, are you not accepting reality of the divorce?
Julie Morgan:
Okay. And the reason why I asked that question is because, I thought if you had an attorney, the judge would say, "Oh, no, you have to stick with that person, because we are so far in the process." Does that make sense? Have you heard that?
Heather Quick:
Oh, and it does, and that's a very hard thing. I know I had said that before. That is not a decision that anyone really would ever take lightly from our standpoint. You've invested time, we've invested time and money. I know that it is going to be difficult to transition elsewhere. But, you have a right as a client to choose your attorney. And we as attorneys, have ethical obligations that if we feel there's some compromises in our representation with that, we don't feel we can proceed forward. Or, we also have a right to hold you to your contract, which is your retainer agreement. So, if you're not paying your attorney, they most likely aren't going to continue to work for you.
Julie Morgan:
Well, that makes sense. Yeah. You're not giving me my money.
Heather Quick:
I know what you're saying makes sense. But you would be surprised. Kind of like every time you go to the grocery store, you have to pay. Even if you've already spent a $1000 this month, you might have to. That's just the way it works. Open communication about the costs and things like that, they're important. That kind of goes back to the billing and all that. You have to talk about it. Not talking about it, doesn't make anything go away.
Julie Morgan:
No, it absolutely does not. You're still going to get that bill. Alrighty.
Heather Quick:
We are your advocate. Your attorney is on your side. But sometimes we might have to, again give you some hard, harsh truths, some advice that we're saying, "Listen, you want to argue on this issue and you're not willing to compromise on this issue. I don't know how the judge will decide. Maybe it's a 50, 50. I really can't predict it, but this is probably how much it's going to cost you, for us to fight this one issue, versus maybe compromising." So, sometimes we have to tell you, "Listen. You can pay me, pay our firm to continue to do this. But I don't know that you're going to be happy with that result, because you might not get it and then you've spent the money." These are good conversations to have with your attorney as well.
You want an attorney to tell you that. You can pay him or pay me. What do you want to do? Our goal as a firm is to get you where you want to be. Not just keep spending your money, fees, fees, fees, without having that conversation with you. Maybe it's time to make some compromises, because you keep spending this money on us. But, I don't see us getting closer to your goal versus maybe there's another approach.
Julie Morgan:
But, you won't give up at the beginning. Right? It has to get to that point. It may be [inaudible 00:41:36]
Heather Quick:
It just does. Sometimes, there just may be those hard conversations. But from our standpoint and as an attorney and just as a human being, I think it's important to say, look at what you're really fighting about and maybe just take a step back, because I'm the objective one. I'm sitting here looking at it and thinking, we're stuck on this issue, and I don't know how much it's going to matter to you in two years or even six months. And I may say, let it go.
Julie Morgan:
It sounds like that's also where the trust of your attorney comes in. Because if you truly trust them, if you're comfortable with them, you should be able to accept that advice.
Heather Quick:
Correct. Because there are some issues I would say, if you compromise on this now, usually those are issues maybe with time sharing with children or property money, I'll say there is not a redo. I really don't and this is what clients may hear. I'm not saying this is what an attorney told them. I think, you can appreciate the difference. I hear what I want to hear a lot. So, I can say that easily. A client will come to me and say, he told me, or the attorney told me to agree to this, because they said we can go back later and change it. I don't think that's good advice. I'm not talking about things that are to say, we'll change it later.
I'm talking about the couch. The brand-new TV, things like that are at some point or one extra day with the kids. If you can step outside and if we're going to go to a third party to make this decision, meaning a judge, I don't know if we're going to be successful on this particular issue and you might have more peace if you can let it go.
Julie Morgan:
Wow. Any parting words, Heather? What else? Anything else you'd like to add?
Heather Quick:
Just that, of course I appreciate everybody listening and I hope this is helpful on how, when you're hiring an attorney and working with an attorney and I recognize, and even if you've worked with attorneys before, when dealing with family law issues and your finances and your children and your future, those are big things. And, it's really important to spend the time to hire the right firm for you. Call us if you need an attorney or have questions about the process. Because, we are here to help you through this.
Julie Morgan:
Perfect way to end. Heather, I will see you next time.
Heather Quick:
Absolutely, Julie. I look forward to it and I cannot wait to hear about your next fun activity.
Julie Morgan:
Thank you for listening to Women Winning Divorce. We hope you found information to help you navigate your divorce. If you like our show, please take the time to subscribe and provide a five star review. If you need more information, please visit our website at womenwinningdivorce.com, where you will find previous episodes and other helpful content. Join us next week as we continue our journey of Women Winning Divorce.